I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
