I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
