I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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