drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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