just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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