Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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