We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
