Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
