Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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