Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
