do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
