in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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