That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
