idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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