Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
