Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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