Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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