Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
