I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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