all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
