Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
