How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
