WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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