Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm watching ellen!

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show

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  (615): I'm watching ellen! (1-615): just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show http://tfl.nu/chlu
  Replies (12) Good night (11402) Bad night (1507)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.

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  (812): After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women. http://tfl.nu/7qhk
  Replies (55) Good night (5648) Bad night (1445)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha

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  (203): I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha http://tfl.nu/635d
  Replies (10) Good night (4691) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.

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  (217): i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college. http://tfl.nu/qid3
  Replies (8) Good night (3660) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

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  (678): Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead, http://tfl.nu/tjky
  Replies (11) Good night (4502) Bad night (1143)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.

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  (303): We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework. http://tfl.nu/20mk
  Replies (7) Good night (1971) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.

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  (901): i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation. http://tfl.nu/cktw
  Replies (5) Good night (1332) Bad night (2501)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart

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  (502): We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart http://tfl.nu/qvlm
  Replies (6) Good night (2001) Bad night (760)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.

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  (732): I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid. http://tfl.nu/5186
  Replies (4) Good night (2756) Bad night (857)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog

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  (973): i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog http://tfl.nu/1yan
  Replies (12) Good night (922) Bad night (2734)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning

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  (859): I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning http://tfl.nu/1f1l
  Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (1586)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend

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  (+44): gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend http://tfl.nu/upf3
  Replies (3) Good night (685) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"

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  (780): Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl" http://tfl.nu/k17c
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?

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  (602): Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning? http://tfl.nu/jjtq
  Replies (2) Good night (413) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.

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  (951): oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin. http://tfl.nu/odt8
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (244)

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