At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.