His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Less talking, more tequila
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
