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• (503): View more from Oregon

  What's wrong?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pussy.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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• (315): View more from New York

  Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (760): View more from California

  I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Im calling him

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants

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• (941): View more from Florida

  she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.

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