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• (248): View more from Michigan

  absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess

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• (925): View more from California

  You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party

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• (518): View more from New York

  Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.

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  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

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• (772): View more from Florida

  Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks

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• (310): View more from California

  four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Best friends brother. Beat that.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.

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  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

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• (917): View more from New York City

  What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm way too hungover for life right now

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