Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
