so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
