You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
worst night to have a conscience
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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