I met the friendliest cop last night
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
