I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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