We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He felt like a one man threesome
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
