bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
