she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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