I'm really into asian looking animals
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
