Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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