After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
