mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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