Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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