i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
