He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
