I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
