I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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