Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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