Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
