look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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