i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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