the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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