I am in a vortex of obligation.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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