mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
