It's like God shit irony all over that family
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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