I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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