He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
