I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
