Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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