Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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