Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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