If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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