forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
