I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize