On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
