I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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