Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
