I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
